Chris

On May 7th 2007 it will have been 1 year since my brother Chris commited suicide. The pain is so far reaching. I still find myself crying at night and revisiting that tragic day. I still want to go visit him. Now I visit him in the cemetery. I can talk out there and yet nothing can take away the silence of the absense of him. Hopefully God is taking good care of him. Some say you go to hell if you kill yourself. I hope not and don't believe it. Chris was a good good guy at heart. He always seemed to be with the wrong crowd. I am so angry with my sister. You see he was trying to put his life back together after a drug conviction and the suicide of his wife. My sister offered him a place to stay, but as time went by she didn't want him living in the fishing shack outside their home. I suppose winter was coming and she wanted to use it. She is selfish like that. He had told me in a visit just before he left back to St. Cloud that he was happy to be up with his family in Brainerd and knew that if he went back down to St. Cloud trouble would happen. I would have let him live with us, but we have 4 children and no room. I don't know if it is right to blame her, but I know if he had stayed with her he would have not ended up at the bar and running onto the highway in a tirade. For those of you on Meth get off it and get help. He had the world a great drywall business, a nice wife and two beautiful daughters. What honestly can make this day better for the family. I fear we have another family member on the same tragic path. Brooke Snow if you read this post get your life together and take care of the little girl who needs you. We do love you. Most of all God loves you.